@Gold on SmartJay

I WANNA KNOW ABOUT THE CREATURES LIKE ME I’ve always been that odd one out. You know the type, right? The person who’s there, but somehow never really there. Talking has never really been my thing. Not because I hate people or because I think I’m better than everyone else. I just... never know what to say. People will be talking, laughing, jumping from one topic to another, and I’ll be sitting there thinking, Okay. What exactly am I supposed to say now? So I listen. That’s what I’m good at. Listening. I keep quiet, pay attention and maintain eye contact, hoping that maybe my eyes can say what my mouth can’t. They can’t. Apparently, silence just makes people uncomfortable. So they started calling me a snob. Arrogant. Stuck-up. Funny, isn’t it? People love to judge what they don’t understand. And, well... I tried to fix it. I learned to smile when I didn’t feel like smiling. I learned to laugh when something wasn’t funny, throwing in these little laughs that sounded almost convincing. Almost. A soulless, empty little ha-ha. And guess what? They still called me a snob. At some point, I just stopped trying. But there was one thing I really wanted. A friend. Not the kind who only talks to you when they need something. Not someone who pretends to like you and then laughs about you when you’re gone. I wanted someone real. Someone I could sit with for hours without feeling like I had to perform. Someone who wouldn’t mock me for the things I liked. Someone who wouldn’t look at me strangely when I got excited about something nobody else cared about. Someone I could play writing games with. Yeah, I know. Writing games. It sounds silly, but I always thought it would be nice to have someone who actually understood that part of me. I have a family, of course. And I love them. They just... don’t always understand me. But at least they don’t judge me for it. So I kept going. Going, going, going... Honestly, sometimes I don’t even know where I’m going. I just know I’m going somewhere. And somewhere along the way, I keep hoping I’ll find them. Real friends. The kind who can make me smile so much that the corners of my eyes crinkle. The kind who can make me laugh so hard and so deeply that even Santa Claus would probably be jealous. I don’t know if people like that actually exist. Maybe they do. Maybe I’ll meet them tomorrow. Maybe next year. Maybe... the day after forever. ___________________________ Precious/Gold66writes